I'm no follower of GOOP, but this piece is a stunner and really resonnated with me, How Women Undermine themselves with Words. Here's a small preview of the interview with author or Playing Big, Tara Mohr.
Here are some of the “little things” women do in speech and writing that aren’t really “little.” In fact, they have a huge impact in causing us to come across as less competent and confident:
2. Inserting actually: “I actually disagree…” “I actually have a question.” It actually makes us sound surprised that we disagree or have a question—not good!
3. Using qualifiers: “I’m no expert in this, but…” or “I know you all have been researching this for a long time, but…” undermines your position before you’ve even stated your opinion.
4. Asking, “Does that make sense?” or “Am I making sense?”: I used to do this all the time. We do it with good intentions: We want to check in with the other people in the conversation and make sure we’ve been clear. The problem is, “does that make sense” comes across either as condescending (like your audience can’t understand) or it implies you feel you’ve been incoherent. A better way to close is something like “I look forward to hearing your thoughts.” You can leave it up to the other party to let you know if they are confused about something, rather than implying that you “didn’t make sense.”
What other parts of the article ring true with you (or don't)? Reply and provide your thoughts...
Best Regards,
Rachelle McWright: Business Development Manager, Dynamic Simulation: U.S. Gulf Coast
After I read the article today, I literally caught myself moments later writing an email to my manager with something along the lines of, "I just wanted to...". I quickly removed the "just". I also struggle with the idea of "how do we communicate powerfully but not come across as mean or that girl” all the time. I think we should all remind ourselves that we can be strong and voice our opinions and solutions and it is not going to come off in the wrong way as long as we are kind. You can get your point across without saying “sorry”, “I just” or “does that make sense”; as long as the content and heart of the message is honest and kind people will still revere you. In fact, they will probably gain an even greater respect for you. I am going to try to remind myself of this concept in 2017!
In reply to Rachelle McWright:
In reply to Emilee (Bannister) Cook: