Emerson Exchange 365

I have a confession to make – I like to say “yes.” And, not just a small yes but a big YES. I like to say "yes" to everything and everyone. In 2017, I’ve learned to add a new word to my vocabulary, and that magic word is “no." I normally do a pretty good job achieving work-life balance but life finally caught up to me and I was forced to make a resolution to corral my need to do everything. I have a kindergartner and of course I said "yes" to being a room parent. He is also playing hockey, so as predicted, I said "yes" to being the team manager. In 2017, for my job, I had an opportunity to say "yes" to leading our product management leadership team and present for our Plantweb Digital Ecosystem.

I love to take on every opportunity I face but the truth of the matter is, is that saying "yes" to everything creates chaos in my life, family, and work environment. I love my duties as a mom, my job, and I feel everyone depends on me. So, the big question in my mind is "how do I choose and prioritize my commitments?" I know plenty of colleagues have that very same question; so here are a few helpful insights I've found on my journey to reinvent my leadership, both as mom and in my role at Emerson.

Learning to delegate a task is just as important as doing that task.

A real eye-opener for me was how over-committing to my work affected my family. I was travelling for four out of six weeks this fall and it was just too much. One night I came home from a work dinner and I went to check on my three-year-old. I gave her a quick hug and inadvertently woke her up. In her dazed and confused state, she looked at me and said, “Who is you?” It was heartbreaking. That moment, however, made me think about my priorities and my personal boundaries when making a commitment. I went from, “do I have to make it to every family dinner?” to “does that trip really require my attendance?” Then I naturally started delegating and giving others great opportunities to go in my place. Now, before I say "yes" to a new opportunity I ask myself, “would someone from my team be better suited to attend that and represent our group?”

Work is flexible (somewhat), family isn’t

According to this article from the New York Times, Why You Should Say No More Often, saying "yes" is usually done from a social obligation (especially for women), but sometimes it’s out of fear of missing out on an opportunity. After being away from home so long due to work, I have a fear of missing out on my children’s lives; before I had a fear of missing out on opportunities in the workplace. Fundamentally, I now understand work is infinite and no matter how much I do there will always be more. Yet, my children will only be little for a short while. Now, while I’m at home I focus on quality time. I try to turn off the work (e.g. my work phone) and focus on my family. If you want to learn more about time management to keep yourself from working at home, The ONE Thing is a great book to help understand proper time management in the workplace and learning how to focus on what's important.

Over-committing is not just a burden for me, but for everyone in my life

I take pride in calling myself a super planner. I put a lot of pressure on myself to always do my best. My organization skills get pushed to the max when I try to juggle everything. Sometimes this makes me overextend myself in big ways. I commit to doing more than I really have time for and frequently end up trying to figure out how to be in two places at once. Normally, this involves asking for help either from a co-worker to cover for me or another mom to help out. When I get bogged down I forget things that I normally would remember. Sometimes, my husband comes in to save the day and we must divide and conquer the chaos happening around us. Once, I promised that I would bring food in for a potluck and just completely ran out of time. I chose putting my kids to bed over making the food; when I came out of my son's bedroom, my husband had actually done most of the work for getting the food ready. Teamwork has really been key for us in making our lives successful. If you are having issues with over committing yourself, remember that setting your own limits starts with you. Check out this article on 7 Ways to Stop Over Committing Yourself, to learn more on setting real limitations.

What it really means to be a leader

In the 13 years I’ve been with Emerson, I have held many roles. Thus, I frequently get asked to perform job functions from past roles. However, with my current workload, I have found new ways to carve out time. Instead of saying "yes" to all the tasks put in front of me I say “I can find someone to help you get that.” Learning to take a pause and rephrase before saying "yes," helped me utilize the talents of my team more and it has been AMAZING. They know different things than I do, have different experiences and can even teach me things.

If you also struggle with over-committing, one book that has helped me is The Power of a Positive No: How To Say No And Still Get Yes. What I learned in 2017 is that I don’t have to say "yes" to everything, instead I can reorganize tasks and delegate to others to get more things done much more efficiently.  This new way of life has given me more opportunities to center myself and be with my family.

 My 2018 resolution is to continue to cut down the urge to over-commit, but reflecting on 2017 has helped me understand my true strengths and weaknesses. Before you jump into your 2018 resolutions, ask yourself, "what did I learn over the past year that I need to apply to do better next year?"  You can share your stories by replying below in the comments section.