Emerson Exchange 365

Balance.  I never knew how much I took my natural ability to balance for granted until I lost it.  Sure, when I was little and learning how to ride a bike, I thought a lot about balance because it was a new skill and it was hard.  I’m sure if I could remember it, I had the same feelings when learning how to walk.  Likewise, I know I struggled with work-life balance for a long time at the beginning of my career.

When I was in my late 20’s, I decided to go to a chiropractor to have some work done.  I had gone to a chiropractor before, but it had been several years.  Without getting into too many of the gory details, the manipulation went wrong and both of my vertebral arteries were dissected and I suffered four mini strokes right there on the table.  I got the most severe vertigo you can imagine and I had no perception of which way was up. 

One of the most memorable comments made to me right after this happened was from my cousin’s little girl (age 7 or so).  She said, “Tonya, I’m really sorry about the earthquake you had in your head!”  What an excellent way to describe it!  It definitely felt like my world had moved and everything was shaken up.

During the incident, I suffered brain damage to my cerebellum, the part of the brain that controls motor movements and other things like coordination and balance.  For approximately 6 months, I had to use crutches to help with my balance.  I also did vestibular rehabilitation therapy to learn how to live with the vertigo and dizziness and to relearn how to balance.  My brain often didn’t know if I was moving or if my surroundings were moving and it created a horrible, confused feeling.

Until I had my strokes, I never appreciated the fact that I could walk a straight line, I could look up without feeling nauseous, and do day-to-day activities like grocery shopping without feeling dizzy.  I had balance and control, but I didn’t know it. 

We hear the term work-life balance all the time, and what I’ve noticed, after a lot of thought, is that work-life balance is something that is painful at the beginning of a career because it is a learned skill.  Just like when we are learning to walk or ride a bike, it takes some practice, a few minor injuries, and patience.  At my first job, I wanted to succeed so much that I put work above everything!  Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job, and I don’t regret the effort I put in because I learned a lot and gained experience that has helped make me who I am.  But, I never took a vacation from my first job without spending at least 4 hours every night trying to “keep up” with work.  I know it was hard on me to never get a complete break from the work, and ironically, it probably made me be less productive overall.  In fact, there is a great article in the February 2016 Harvard Business Review about this – There’s a Proven Link Between Effective Leadership and Getting Enough Sleep, by Nick van Dam and Els van der Helm.

My grandpa always taught us that if a company was paying for 8 hours, to give them 10 and make sure there was never a question that they were getting their money’s worth.  That philosophy has been permanently ingrained in me.  In addition, one of my strengths, according to the Gallup survey, is that I am an achiever, so I have a constant need to achieve things and feel disappointed if I don’t.  Both of these cause me to naturally have a tendency to balance too heavily toward work and sacrifice the personal side of my life.  One thing the Gallup tools suggest is to remember to account personal achievements into your scoring system to help with the balance.

As my career went on and I started working for Emerson, I began to realize that I could put a lot of effort into work and focus on being effective and efficient and still enjoy a life outside of work.  It was just like riding a bike – the balance came, I was enjoying it and quite frankly, taking it for granted.  But, then along comes an “earthquake” and something shakes up your rhythm and routine leading to imbalance. 

For me, I started in a role that was a stretch role for me and I wanted to show everyone I could do it and do a great job!  I started down the path again of working crazy amounts of hours and feeling overwhelmed.  I have always had a hard time telling people no because I don’t want to disappoint anyone and I love to help others.  I found myself overcommitting and it took a toll on my health and personal life. 

I think the “earthquakes” in life can vary from one person to the next, but it may come in the form of an important role or fear of headcount reductions, or maybe pressure from a manager who expects too much.  But, if you lose that sense of work-life balance, things can become quite uncomfortable, quite quickly.  It can be hard to tell which way is up and progress is difficult.

For me, it took another shake up to help me notice that my work-life balance wasn’t balanced at all and to reset my equilibrium.  Unfortunately, my father passed away very unexpectedly, and it turned my world upside down.  I stepped back and inventoried my situation and discovered that I wasn’t always as present for my family and friends as I needed to be and it was throwing off my balance.  I realized that even though I was putting a tremendous amount of effort into my work, it wasn’t sustainable and I could balance things a bit more and still be very efficient and effective in my role.

I guess my lesson was that balance isn’t that hard and makes both work and life more enjoyable and productive once you get the hang of it.  But, watch out for those experiences that try to push that balance too much one way or the other because it’s no good for anyone to spin out of control.  Give your job your best effort, but save some energy for your family and friends.  Everyone will be better off in the long term.