Emerson Exchange 365

A few weeks ago I attended another awesome Society of Women Engineers Annual Convention in Austin, Texas. Emerson has been a corporate partner since 2013. It was the largest conference to-date filled with keynote speakers, collegiate competitions, plenary and panel sessions, and — obviously — recruiting and networking.

I was lucky enough to moderate a panel discussion titled, “Working Moms: What do the Kids Really Think?” Last year’s Emerson event topic, “Power Couples: Working Together to Manage Two Successful Careers,” inspired this year’s session. Since much of that discussion centered around how to balance family (kids) and full-time work life, we thought, there’s no better way to learn more about the subject than to hear from the kids themselves.

We assembled a four-person panel with guests ranging in age from 15 to 28 including Sonia Ballada daughter of Prasanthi Ballada, Morgan Engel (my daughter), Melissa Hall daughter of Janet Hall, and Lauren Alsup daughter of Former Member. My big takeaway? My daughter does not want to follow me into engineering! Of course, that was just one nugget of insight this panel brought to light — for both me and all of those in attendance. There were a lot of people who came to listen from many different backgrounds. The large crowd reinforced what I knew going in: balancing a career and family is a global, universal topic in which many parents look for answers to everyday challenges. Here are a few challenges we unearthed:

Rebalance as Needed
Senior executives highlighted how important it is to reschedule and reprioritize often. You want to ensure you give the appropriate time to each portion of your life. My daughter reinforced this point when asked: “Is there a downside to having a working mom?” She’s in a personal transition period; she's in her senior year of high school in Florida searching for where she wants to attend college this coming fall. I just recently moved from Florida to Ohio due to career opportunity, which has been difficult for her during this transition period. She was quick to note that if she didn’t have a working mom, her transition as a senior would have been a bit smoother for her. In other words: I could do more for her. I always want my daughter to know I’m available to help, but not at her beck and call. She also realizes that, and that my tight schedule means she needs to be more focused with her own to take on more personal responsibility. This has become an important life lesson for us all. It has also made me realize that I needed to tag-team with her father (and technology) to help her transition. We all made the effort to rebalance our lives with each other. If you are looking for ways to achieve balance, this article provides 10 Ways Moms can Balance Work and Family.

Don’t Try to Be Perfect
My favorite quote of the day was from a parent in the audience. She said, “give yourself grace, none of us are perfect, and we do make mistakes.” This spoke volumes about our desire to do things right, always — and our inability to look at mistakes as the learning experiences they are — for both adults and their children. Kids learn how to fail with grace only when they see us fail and get back up again. By giving ourselves the grace to make a mistake, we take away some level of stress and this de-stressing benefits us most at home. If you think you might be a "recovering perfectionist," here's a great resource to help you tame your compulsions: How to Overcome Perfectionism: 8 Strategies for Making Life Better.

Ask for Help
The myth of the superhero parent is just that — a myth. Attendees and our panel overwhelmingly talked about the effect good help — neighbors, friends, family and reliable caregivers — can have on the work/life balance. It’s alright to admit that you need help. Asking is the first step. Again, this teaches our children that in order to succeed, you can lean on others. Asking for help is an art; it takes overcoming your own insecurities, but also actually knowing what you want. Want to learn more? Check out the article, 5 Ways to Get Better at Asking for Help.

Sometimes our children are there to remind us of our humility, humanity and that it's ok to pause and give ourselves a moment. The feedback on our session, “Working Moms: What do the Kids Really Think?” indicated that the Mom’s and their kids in attendance took away from the panel as much as we hoped to learn ourselves. So, a big thank you goes out to our panel and our engaged audience! Being a working mom is not without its challenges, but it’s also taught me the importance of the time we do have with our family. As the kids on our panel pointed out: if you’re wondering how your kids feel about your work, just ask. What I ask from those reading this is: if there is a time when you felt challenged or successfully triumphed as a working mother, please share your experience with others in this Women in STEM group by commenting below.