If you know what jelly shoes, slap bracelets and POGs are then YOU my friend are probably a millennial (and had an awesome childhood). This also means you are likely so deep into adulting that you have forgotten all about dying from dysentery in a game of Oregon Trail. If you’re like me, you spend your days trying to keep miniature versions of yourself alive while also attending business meetings (that could’ve just been emails.)
Yes, right now we are in the thickest muck of our adult lives. We’re simultaneously trying to manage a growing career and family. If we were in a fraternity, we would be pledges and I am pretty sure this part of our lives would be considered initiation (maybe even hazing). We are stressed, confused, and boy-oh-boy are we tired. Not sure about you, but I often long for the days when my only responsibility was tending to my grades and my Tamagatchi.
If you scrape by each day, trying to juggle the ever-increasing demands of your seemingly dichotomous life, this blog is for you. I’m a young(ish) parent new in my career and I’m on a fact-finding mission for optimizing my time and my life. In this two-part blog, I’ll share with you experiences, tips and of course, some memes (we are millennials after all) that speak to my journey.
It is so easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to everyone around you. CUT THAT OUT. If I had a motto it would undoubtedly be, “fake it until you make it.” I believe entrepreneur Richard Branson, said it best, “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes - then learn how to do it later!” If you’re reading this blog, “congratulations!,” you are already following his advice. If you have kids, you have accepted the amazing opportunity to raise your children to become kind and caring humans. If you have a job, you have accepted the opportunity to build a flourishing career. So, now what? Having accepted both opportunities, you may be wondering, how in the world do I begin mastering them? It’s time to begin faking it.
So how do you fake it? You get out of your own way. Faking it, is (in my opinion) 95% confidence and 5% actual knowledge. Right out of college, I started working as a product engineer, troubleshooting software issues. I had a background in Chemical and Biomedical Engineering, neither of which has anything to with software or IT. When I took my first customer ticket, I felt clueless. How did I end up solving customer software issues, armed with only my history of process and research knowledge? So, what did I do? I put my big girl pants on and gave myself a pep talk. My engineering education taught me to be a problem solver. Dealing with software issues is solving problems. After putting two and two together, I was done being my own worst enemy. So, be confident in yourself and be willing to put the work in. If you do these two things everything will fall into place.
Have you experienced the horrific notion that you may be a fraud? Yep, me too. For tips on overcoming imposter syndrome, check out this Forbes article,"Feel like a Fraud? Here’s How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome.”
I have read many articles and watched many TED talks on time management and work-life balance. For example, the TED Talk: How to Gain Control of Your Free Time by Laura Vanderkam, mentions that you have 168 hours each week with which you can accomplish everything on your to-do list. On the condition that you optimize your time. As an engineer the idea of time optimization really resonates with me. I like to believe that I can “have it all,” a successful career and a happy family life. However, the idea of having 168 hours a week scheduled with tasks sounds (and is) exhausting.
In another, TED Talk: Can we all “have it all”? by Anne-Marie Slaughter, she questions if we can have it all? In it, she advises that the key to doing so is to ‘pick your battles.’ The idea of picking my battles sounds way less exhausting than filling my entire week with tasks, but it is 180 degrees in the other direction of Vanderkam's theory. My point is, if you do the research or listen to the advice of others, you’ll unearth a million and one methods for balancing time and life. However, it’s important to follow your own compass. Just because a “million dollar idea” works for someone else, doesn’t mean its going to work for you. My advice is take tips on time logging and prioritizing, but use them in a methodology of your own. After a little adjustment, some days I pack my schedule and some days I pick my battles. My life is very demanding and requires this fluidity. Do what is best for you.
Blazing your own path goes along with faking it and picking your battles. How are you supposed to live your own life by following the same path as everyone else? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” This goes for your work life and your home life. Try turning off your navigation and don’t rely on your GPS to take you everywhere.
There is no predestined path for where a career should take you. If you do the same things that your co-workers do then you will likely end up in the same roles, performing the same tasks, having the same conversations....What fun is that? When you are new in your career, it can be difficult not to just “fall in line,” but try to look for and find the nooks and crannies of opportunity where there is room for growth. Obviously do the job you were hired to do, but find different ways to accomplish tasks or, create a new task. When I started working, I noticed a huge gap in training materials. Turns out this was a huge need that wasn’t being met. I (with the support of my managers and team) am now responsible for creating and maintaining all of the training matierals for our product - it's a task I love doing and one that I created.
I used to be a ballet dancer and every time I walk on a slippery floor, something inside of me flips on and I HAVE to pirouette. I also hate cleaning my kitchen. Well, my kitchen happens to have pretty slippery tile. I think you know where I am going with this. I decided to turn my nightly cooking/cleaning routine into a dance. I slap on my point shoes and prance around the kitchen. I relive my dance days, counting rond de jambs as I clean the dishes. My daughter likes it so much that she has started helping me clean and bonus: I don’t have to pay to take those fancy new Barre workout classes. The point is: change your perspective on your day to day routine. Find new ways to do things and you’ll create enjoyment in the unavoidable tasks you used to hate.
There is no doubt that this part of our lives is nuts and (for the most part) we couldn’t have prepared for any of this. As a millennial, we’re part of a new, mold-breaking generation. Thus, it’s okay for us to use creative ways to accomplish our tasks and bend the rules just a little bit in order to enrich our lives. Follow these suggestions, make up your own and with a little luck maybe we can fit in a game of Mario Cart.
Stay tuned for Part 2: The Struggle Continues, where I address how to handle stress with style.
Calling all Millennial’s and work/home life balance aficionados: do you have your own coping tips? Share them by replying below.